Saturday, December 12, 2009

The Tiger is Now a Cheetah!

Despite her husband's growing list of alleged mistresses, Tiger Woods' wife may have decided to stay put.

People magazine, out Friday, reports that Elin Nordegren will probably stay married to Woods for the sake of their children.

The couple wed in 2004 and have two kids -- Sam, 2, and Charlie, 10 months.

According to People, the Swedish model herself is a "child of divorce" whose parents split when she was 6 years old.

“That's not something she’s likely going to want to do to [her children with Woods] Sam and Charlie,” a close friend of Nordegren tells People. “She really believes in the importance of parents staying together.

To listen to the 911 Call previously made for Tiger Woods, click the link below.

So what do you think? Should his wife stay or should she just pack her bags and go, never to return or look back?

Saturday, November 14, 2009

All Men Are Dogs!

This is the statement that a female friend of mine made recently and so devoutly defended, which sparked a debate between the two of us.
My friend, who had a fairly recent breakup, insisted that all guys are “liars and only out for one thing” (sex, of course.) And she specifically called me out and a few of our other friends for being dogs.

However, when I interrogated her about her own past relationships, she admitted that she views guys as simple “cuddy buddies” and just objects to flirt with.
Now, I have been in a relationship with the same girl for seven months and I’m not going to lie and say I’m the perfect gentleman all the time, but in defense of the true gentlemen out there I say to women, “Not ALL men are dogs.”

Even though some social scientists may say that sex is as essential as food, water, and shelter, and biology says the man’s primary function is to spread his seed to reproduce as much as possible, not every man desires a woman for what she has to offer physically.
In writing this, the phrase “nice guys finish last” comes to mind and I feel that this statement holds some truth in many situations, especially in regards to the dating game.
It seems to me that far too often the opportunity to be with one of the nice guys is the one opportunity that many women have the easiest time passing up on.
Now, I know that a lot of guys may get mad at me for admitting this, but women actually have more power than they know.

The reason that so many men do not get their act together and so many relationships fail so easily is because women allow them to carry on with the most ignorant and disrespectful behavior.

As long as there is a woman who finds a man at his worst attractive and acceptable then why should he do any better alone or in a relationship?

I believe you should love someone for who they are and not for whom you want them to be, but I also believe that people should know what they desire in a romantic partner and not settle for less.

I have quite a few female friends who have constantly been through relationships that failed because their man was unfaithful, immature, disrespectful or abusive, but I also have male friends who have had the same problems with women in the past.
Going back to my example with my friend who prompted me to speak on this issue, apparently women also view men as “cuddy buddies.”

So if women have the same tendency to view men as objects used just for physical intimacy, then why should the man be the only one labeled as a dog?

I don’t know if people put themselves in bad relationships due to self-esteem issues or boredom with everyday life or whatever their case may be, but I believe there is a true man out there for every heartbroken, lovesick woman who can cure her of the false idea that all men are the same.
My point here to both the ladies and the gentlemen is that chivalry is not dead and people just happen to make the mistake of looking for love in the wrong places.

But for the women who do decide to spend their time and efforts chasing a dog instead of a man, I just hope that you train him well.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Right to Privacy in a Relationship - Oh Really?

The other day, I was asking my girlfriend about her New Year's resolutions. She jokingly said that they were private and she would not share them. I didn't realize it was a joke and said, "Okay, that's fine. I understand." She let me know that it was a joke and I was silly for thinking that she was serious. However,I readily accepted that sometimes people have reasons for keeping things to themselves, even if they're in a relationship.That brings me to you, peanut gallery.

Okay, sidetrack for a moment, let's all agree that Howdy Doody is dead and gone and anyone under 50 didn't grow up with him so we can officially stop using the term "peanut gallery." Back to our story.I have come into conflict on several occasions with more than one girlfriend on the limits of privacy. There seem to be roughly two lines of argument, with possible variations on each line. First, there is the argument that more than one girlfriend has made that basically says, "Two people come together, they give up virtually all realistic rights to privacy." Sure, they can have privacy when they need to read or sleep or whatever, but any secrets including bank account numbers, current conversations you're having with friends, computer passwords, email passwords, plans you might be making for the coming week, closed and opened snailmail etc. are all expected to be shared. The sentiment here seems to be that there should be nothing worth hiding from one's partner, and if there is, then something is wrong. This idea is on a continuum.

While my current girlfriend sort of holds this view, she is on a much softer end of the spectrum about it, being a little annoyed at parts of the argument I don't buy into, but not going psycho and trying to hack into my stuff constantly. The other line of argument is more in line with what I think which can be roughly stated: People have a right to moderate levels of privacy, regardless of the relationships they're in for a variety of reasons. While a certain level of privacy is acknowledged to be given up at the beginning of a relationship, with more privacy given up as the relationship continues, there are still, and should always be, if so desired, personal privacies that one can maintain, with the understanding that trust negates any need for worry. In addition, while a deep level of secrecy certainly could point to a problem between the couple, having certain privacies need not be construed as a statement about the richness/trustworthiness of the relationship.

For me, for instance, I don't go over all the conversations I might have in a given day, with my girlfriend because I a) don't see them all as that important and b) I can't remember them all and c) even if I can remember them, I'm not sure they're worth the effort of explaining things in a way that makes sense, which is often much harder than one might realize.There are a myriad of other reasons about a myriad of other things, that I'm not hiding, I just don't want to talk about for whatever reasons. Past that, I do believe there are things that one has a right to deal with in one's own time and, regardless of love and affection, are not necessarllly the purview of the partner. So, I believe that one has a right to keeping one's passwords private, of asking before opening mail, of being squeamish when somebody asks me for my bank card; one has the right to keep one's inner sphere a certain level of private for all eternity. I feel that's a good thing. I do try to understand the other side and it does make sense in some ways, but so does the other side (and obviously moreso for me). Of course, laying out these things early in the relationship and compromising would usually be a lot more helpful, but sometimes that's not as foreseeable or as possible as one would like.

Oh well.With that in mind, I ask you, good public, for your views. What do you think of privacy rights in relationships? What are the limits? Who sets those limits? Is there a public standard we can share on this matter, a rule of thumb if you will? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

5 Signs You May Be Dating a Gold Digger

There are two basic types of Gold Diggers out there; the women who don’t give a crap about you, and the women who give a teensy little bit about you. The first is only interested in herself and what she can acquire. The latter has more or less resigned herself to dating you because she thinks you’re the best she can do at this moment in time; she probably “likes you ok” but she will never love you.
Ideally, you want to avoid these chicks whenever possible. Unfortunately, these women are usually a peg or two above their respective men in terms of looks, so the guys are usually too busy thanking God for their good fortune to notice how frequently Jane needs a new pair of shoes. These 5 signs will tell whether or not she’s into you, or just your money. While there are certainly exceptions to every rule, and most actions are open to interpretation, they do serve as a general rule of thumb.

1. She only knocks boots after you’ve bought something for her.

This is the Gold Diggers way of repaying you. It’s also her way of classically conditioning you: You have to pay before you can play. Depending on your financial status, this may be something as small as dinner in a moderately priced restaurant, or it may mean jewelry is required before she’ll drop her knickers. Either way, she’s your own personal call-girl, whether you realize it or not.

2. She has a temper tantrum if you refuse to buy something for her.

This sounds obvious, but it’s a very common with gold diggers. The tantrum may be subtle – giving you the silent treatment, for example – but it tends to start at the moment of refusal and lasts until your next purchase.

3. She only suggests expensive restaurants, hotels, etc.

If she’s too good for the occasional burger, this girl is a gold digger. Mind you, that’s metaphorical; there are plenty of vegan gold diggers out there, believe it or not. The point is, she never selects a destination that will be kind to your wallet.

4. She earns a very modest income, yet everything she owns is very expensive.

This is less obvious than it sounds. A good gold digger knows how to network, and she knows she needs some kind of job, lest she look like what she is. She’ll probably work part-time somewhere, and supplement her income with your donations. All those shoes, clothes, etc – you better believe she didn’t pay for them herself.

5. She never offers to pay the bill, not even her share.

Now… I have done articles on dates and who should pay; I fully believe a man should pay for the first date. Period. However, I also believe that a woman should always offer to pay for herself from the second date forward. Regardless of whether or not you agree with me, let me assure you that if she’s never offered to pay in any capacity, she’s a gold digger.

So now that I have shared these 5 signs with you, it's time to come to truths. Are you dating a Gold Digger? Or, if you are a lady reading this blog, do you think I have done an injustice to the female race of "Gold Diggers?"

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Girlfriend's Invasion of Privacy

It has taken me some time and serious thought on this subject regarding invasion of privacy. When your girlfriend invades your privacy by checking your cellphone call log, or accidentally getting into your voicemail, or accessing your emails, what recourse do you have at that point?

Even if she finds out that you have been talking with other female friends and even flirting with them, she still has invaded your privacy. I have been often told that two wrongs do not make a right.

It would seem to me that damage would have been seriously done to the existing relationship once the girlfriend invades your privacy in such a manner. It puts the relationship in an uncomfortable position. Does the girlfriend owe the boyfriend an apology regardless of what she found, or does the boyfriend owe the girlfriend an apology? Regardless, I have been told that if you don't want to find anything, please do not go looking!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

When Should Sex Education Be Taught

Many parents want to know at what age is it appropriate to start teaching their children about sex. What most of us don’t think about is that the question presumes that there is an age at which sexuality becomes important or “an issue”. This presumption is 100% wrong. Sexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are, from birth to death. And while our sexuality isn’t the same when we’re six as when we’re sixteen, or sixty, it is always there and always a part of us. So the question isn’t so much when to start talking with your children about sex, but how to do it at every age and stage of their lives.

Many, possibly most, parents are less than proactive in talking about sex with their children, and don’t deal with it until moments like these:
  • Your toddler begins exploring his or her body in public and you’re not sure how to deal with it.
  • You wonder at what point it’s “not okay” to let your child see you without clothes on.
  • Your child asks you where they came from or where other babies come from.
  • Your child begins to ask questions about their body and why it looks different from their brothers or sisters.

Each of these are important teaching moments, and if you want to avoid dealing with situations and questions at awkward or inconvenient times (say, in the middle of a holiday service, at a family dinner, or just as your rushing off to work) you’re best protection is to be proactive, and Take space for sex talks on an ongoing basis.

Teaching your children about sex should begin as soon as you’re communicating with them. If they have questions they’ll let you know. And even if they don’t, you can let them know that you’re open to the questions by including sex education in all the things you teach them.

Monday, October 12, 2009

I had a lot of fun watching the new Vh-1 show, "Going for Broke," starring comedian Eddie Griffin. Griffin is one of the funniest comics in America, the comedian that Chris Tucker could have been (if he would simply stop disappearing between Jackie Chan movies). On the show, Griffin gives insight into his personal life, which is both intriguing and disturbing.

The show is called "Going for Broke" for a reason, because Eddie just might actually get there.Here are some reasons that Eddie Griffin might actually become the broke celebrity that he is trying to become:

1) He spends like a damn fool. One of the easiest traps for an entertainer to fall into is the "infinite money trap." That's when the person thinks that they've got an endless supply of cash, giving them ability to spend whatever they want on whatever they want. Apparently Eddie may have fallen into this trap, since his Bentley was being repossessed in an early episode of the show. Eddie's conversation with his accountant was also revealing, as the words "all the accounts are empty" seemed to strike him hard. With all the success that Eddie Griffin has had, it is difficult to imagine that he would be completely broke. But the truth is that this kind of thing happens all the time.

2) Can you say "8 kids and 4 baby's mamas"? Eddie's mother was right when she mentioned that any new potential "baby mamas" were looking to "get on the "Eddie Griffin financial plan." What Eddie also seems to forget is that even if you are well to do, child support is a horrible financial burden. There are ways to be involved in the lives of children without giving up all your money in order to do so.

3) He seems to put himself into bad situations. The first episode I saw showed scenes of Eddie going to a plastic surgeon after having a champagne glass smashed against his face by a "fan." I've honestly got a few fans, but I don't think any of them would want to slam a glass against my face. Maybe he should change the word "fan" to "hater," "enemy," or "potential threat." Either way, Eddie seemed to feel that his life was somehow cursed with bad energy. Instead, he might take a second to realize that his personal choices might be the reasons he is being put into such peculiar situations. When it comes to Eddie Griffin and his new show, the bottom line is this: If you think that Eddie is now doing fine because he has a new Vh-1 show, think again. The networks don't pay the entertainers much to do these shows, and the shows don't usually last for a very long time. Also, unless you're Bill Gates, you can't presume that you've got a seemingly endless supply of disposable income.

The fact that Eddie didn't know he was out of money implies that he probably doesn't keep a budget, which is one of the first paths toward financial ruin. Given that one of Eddie's predecessors, Red Foxx, died deeply in debt to the IRS, one would hope that Eddie doesn't endure that same fate. Eddie's my man, funny as hell, but he's really got to get it together.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Abusive Women and Male Victims

It has been said that a man who exhibits the following behaviors in relationship is abusive. It would stand to reason, then, that a woman who exhibits these behaviors is an abusive woman.
Men who get involved with abusive women are typically those who had abusive childhood home environments. This kind of upbringing tends to normalize abusive behavior in all relationships.

What this means is that men from this kind of a background are not as keen to the subtleties of abuse the way “healthy” men are.

On a positive note, there is a silver lining here—all behavior can be relearned, including the ability to recognize early signs of abuse as unacceptable behaviors in a relationship. Once this is learned, a man will be able to break free from unhealthy relationships with women who are not good for him.

You might review this list to see if you might be in an abusive relationship. This is a list of common abusive behaviors to watch for:

Criticism about your good qualities
Past abusive relationships
Criminal activities
Drinking or drug problems, past or present
Mood swings
Discourages your successes
Abusive family members or spouses of siblings
Attempts to control your whereabouts
Disrespect toward your publicly or privately
Violations of others rights
Attempts to keep you isolated
Persistent lying
History of truancy, delinquency and running away
Highly reactive
Streaks of meanness toward others for no reason
Threatened by relationships with other women, past, present or imagined

In order to recognize early abusive signs, a man must stop rationalizing “abusive” behaviors as “normal.” If he sees ONE abusive behavior, regardless of how small, he needs to remind himself that it IS abuse. Period! With this new skill, he will soon be dating women who treat him with dignity and respect—the way all men deserve to be treated.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

The African American Male in the Church

For so many years while growing up in the church, I can clearly remember many Sundays when me and my siblings would have to attend church without our father. It seemed normal to me at that time because I knew my dad was a hard worker and he was present in our lives and in the home.

What is interesting is that there were many men in the church while I was coming up, but none of them were my father. Over times, it seems as though the male figure within the church has vanished. There are greater number of women compared to men who attend worship service on a regular basis. Why is that?

I can remember at times when my father would argue with my mother because she loved her church, her pastor, and fellowshipping. He would often times make derogatory comments about the pastor and church, not knowing that one day his very own son would be in the ministry! Wow!

In the African-American church of today, many of our male role models have disappeared. Many of the "men" in church are becoming everything else except "men." yes, I went there. I strongly believe that God is calling for the "real men" to stand up and take their place in the home, in the community, in the church, and in society! Men, our women are looking for us and we are making it hard for them to find us! Become God-fearing and get your acts together!!!!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Trenyce Cobbins - Making Things Happen

Trenyce has found success in the theater, while still planning to release a CD.
American Idol’s second season produced a group of talented and memorable singers, including winner Ruben Studdard and runner-up Clay Aiken. Arguably, the most gifted female singer of the season was Trenyce, who made it into the top five only to be eliminated the following week, after she landed in the bottom two against Ruben.

Trenyce auditioned for American Idol in Nashville, Tennessee. After making it into the Hollywood round, she was ultimately chosen as one of the top 12 in the wild card round, as judge Paula Abdul’s personal pick. Song choices such as “Proud Mary” and “I Have Nothing” showcased Trenyce’s powerful voice and unwavering star power.

After the show ended, Trenyce performed in the American Idol II concert tour along with eight other Idols from that season. The tour hit 41 cities across the United States and Canada in 55 days, during the summer of 2003. The American Idol II compilation CD was released around this time, and featured Trenyce’s performance of “Let’s Stay Together.”

Still riding on her Idol fame, Trenyce hit the talk show circuit, appearing on morning shows, daytime talk shows, and primetime entertainment programs. She was featured in many magazines and newspapers, and even received the key to the city of Memphis, where she is from.

While fans waited for word of a studio album, Trenyce was busy exploring all of her options. Plans for a line of designer shoes and clothing were on the table, as well as a line of beauty and spa products. These never materialized, however. Instead, Trenyce turned to the theater and found great success there.

Trenyce played the role of “Deena” in “Dreamgirls”, the same role played by Beyonce Knowles in the film adaptation. (Trenyce auditioned for the film as well, but was ultimately beat out by fellow Idol alum Jennifer Hudson.) She also had leading roles in musicals such as “Not a Day Goes By”, “Mama’s Sweet Potato Pie”, and “Soul Kittens Cabaret.”

In 2006, Trenyce toured Russia with singer Wanda Dee and 90’s band The KLF. Upon her return, the same day that Taylor Hicks was crowned the fifth American Idol, Trenyce became the first Idol to headline a show in Las Vegas. The show, called “V: The Ultimate Variety Show”, appeared at the Aladdin Hotel and Casino. She also sang to sold-out crowds at the Sahara Hotel with her show, “Late Night Idol.”

Currently, Trenyce resides in Los Angeles and is playing the lead role in the musical play, “Love in the Nick of Tyme”. This play will be released on DVD this summer. The summer of 2007 will also see Trenyce joining a star-studded cast in the play, “Invisible Life,” based on the novel of the same name by E. Lynn Harris.

Trenyce recently did an interview with the Memphis-based FOX affiliate, and admitted that plans for an album are still on hold. “I am working on an album,” Trenyce said. “But I really want Memphis to be proud of what I’m doing. I don’t want it to just be something that is a shot in the dark, that is a fly by night, that is a one hit wonder type of situation. I really want my album to touch a lot of people, and Memphis first.”

Has Hip-Hop Gone Too Far

I was sitting up thinking the another and the question came to myself, "has hip-hop gone too far?" Meaning, have this genre or movement of music lost the very essence of what it originally stood for. True hip-hop back in the day was music about communities having social responsiblities and doing the right things. Now, the music that is supposedly deemed as hip-hop only glamorizes young men as having lots of money, fancy cars, and two and three girls on each side.

I strongly feel as though we are causing lots of damage to our younger generation because it almost impossible to find a "hip-hop" artist that speaks out to the communities about staying in school, stay away from gangs, choose non-violence, stay drug-free..don't use or sell the stuff!!!

I think it's important in today's time that we tell the truth and stop painting the falsified pictures about what a young men should look and act like. The truth of the matter is....everyone is not going to become a rich and famous rapper or hip hop artist!!!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Former President Jimmy Carter - Is this Racism or a Political Difference?

Oh my goodness! Did Former President Jimmy Carter go there? Did he pull the "race card?"

Former President Jimmy Carter’s assertion that racism is behind much of the political opposition to President Obama marks a stunning moment in America’s centuries-old racial drama. Mr. Carter added perhaps the most serious charge on Tuesday when he said, “I live in the South and I’ve seen the South come a long way.” But, the former president added, “I think it’s bubbled up to the surface because of a belief among many white people not just in the South but around the country … that African-Americans are not qualified to lead this great country. It’s an abominable circumstance and grieves me and concerns me very deeply.”

Wow! I strongly believe Former President Jimmy Carter has basically stated what so many Americans have been thinking for so long. It seems as though the media has gone above and beyond to find fault in who this great nation has elected to lead.

Whitney Houston - Comeback Queen

I love me some Whitney Houston! Ok, if any of you saw the show last week when Whitney Houston perform on Good Morning America, you probably were asking yourself, "What the Hell!!!" I said to myself, "self, we waited just to hear this?" Her vocals were a little off, but you know what, I give her an A+ anyway because she still performed from the heart! I don't know if she stayed up the night before or if age is getting to her or what, but next time I hear from you Whitney, make sure you have your vocals together.

Remeber the hits, "I'm your baby tonight"; I Wanna Dance with somebody"; "Saving All My Love for you"; and ofcourse, "Didn't We Almost Have It All." I mean, she has carved herself into the history of musical icons/divas. Regardless of what anyone thinks, Whitney Houston deserves a fair chance and deserves to be heard! I purchased her new cd last week and I'm in love all over again with her! Have you gotten your copy! What do you think About the entire new "Whitney?"

Kanye West Outburst at the VMA's

Ok people,
I was truly upset with Mr. Kanye West and his outburst at the VMA's. I hate to say it, but the VMA's are not the BET awards. Did someone fail to give Mr. West the email!!! Taylor Swift deserved her moment to shine. She has worked tremendously hard and accomplished alot just as a young teenager and this joker, Mr. West, does the unthinkable. Are you telling me, just because you are a celebrity, you have the right to get away with disrespectful antics such as this! I was furious. If it were up to me, not only would I have kicked him out of the VMA awards, but he would have been banned!!! Simple as that!!!