Are you in love, or is it lust? Love and lust are inextricably intertwined. Lust is ground zero for hormones -- it's nature's way of bringing the opposite sexes together to mate. In fact, without lust, it's doubtful that love between a man and a woman would have a chance to prosper at all.

The driving force of the sexual imperative bridges the gap between the almost incompatible brain styles of the two sexes. So lust can be seen as one end of a broad continuum, which may or may not culminate in romantic love.

And love is the most ennobling of human emotions -- transcendental, exalted and capable of engendering emotional states that can make the male of the species want "to be a better man."

Men fight wars over lust, but they make homes and families for love.

So what do you think? Is your relationship based on Love or Lust?

The Tiger is Now a Cheetah!

Despite her husband's growing list of alleged mistresses, Tiger Woods' wife may have decided to stay put.

People magazine, out Friday, reports that Elin Nordegren will probably stay married to Woods for the sake of their children.

The couple wed in 2004 and have two kids -- Sam, 2, and Charlie, 10 months.

According to People, the Swedish model herself is a "child of divorce" whose parents split when she was 6 years old.

“That's not something she’s likely going to want to do to [her children with Woods] Sam and Charlie,” a close friend of Nordegren tells People. “She really believes in the importance of parents staying together.

To listen to the 911 Call previously made for Tiger Woods, click the link below.

http://www.nydailynews.com/video/index.html

So what do you think? Should his wife stay or should she just pack her bags and go, never to return or look back?

All Men Are Dogs!

This is the statement that a female friend of mine made recently and so devoutly defended, which sparked a debate between the two of us.
My friend, who had a fairly recent breakup, insisted that all guys are “liars and only out for one thing” (sex, of course.) And she specifically called me out and a few of our other friends for being dogs.

However, when I interrogated her about her own past relationships, she admitted that she views guys as simple “cuddy buddies” and just objects to flirt with.
Now, I have been in a relationship with the same girl for seven months and I’m not going to lie and say I’m the perfect gentleman all the time, but in defense of the true gentlemen out there I say to women, “Not ALL men are dogs.”

Even though some social scientists may say that sex is as essential as food, water, and shelter, and biology says the man’s primary function is to spread his seed to reproduce as much as possible, not every man desires a woman for what she has to offer physically.
In writing this, the phrase “nice guys finish last” comes to mind and I feel that this statement holds some truth in many situations, especially in regards to the dating game.
It seems to me that far too often the opportunity to be with one of the nice guys is the one opportunity that many women have the easiest time passing up on.
Now, I know that a lot of guys may get mad at me for admitting this, but women actually have more power than they know.

The reason that so many men do not get their act together and so many relationships fail so easily is because women allow them to carry on with the most ignorant and disrespectful behavior.

As long as there is a woman who finds a man at his worst attractive and acceptable then why should he do any better alone or in a relationship?

I believe you should love someone for who they are and not for whom you want them to be, but I also believe that people should know what they desire in a romantic partner and not settle for less.

I have quite a few female friends who have constantly been through relationships that failed because their man was unfaithful, immature, disrespectful or abusive, but I also have male friends who have had the same problems with women in the past.
Going back to my example with my friend who prompted me to speak on this issue, apparently women also view men as “cuddy buddies.”

So if women have the same tendency to view men as objects used just for physical intimacy, then why should the man be the only one labeled as a dog?

I don’t know if people put themselves in bad relationships due to self-esteem issues or boredom with everyday life or whatever their case may be, but I believe there is a true man out there for every heartbroken, lovesick woman who can cure her of the false idea that all men are the same.
My point here to both the ladies and the gentlemen is that chivalry is not dead and people just happen to make the mistake of looking for love in the wrong places.

But for the women who do decide to spend their time and efforts chasing a dog instead of a man, I just hope that you train him well.

Right to Privacy in a Relationship - Oh Really?

The other day, I was asking my girlfriend about her New Year's resolutions. She jokingly said that they were private and she would not share them. I didn't realize it was a joke and said, "Okay, that's fine. I understand." She let me know that it was a joke and I was silly for thinking that she was serious. However,I readily accepted that sometimes people have reasons for keeping things to themselves, even if they're in a relationship.That brings me to you, peanut gallery.

Okay, sidetrack for a moment, let's all agree that Howdy Doody is dead and gone and anyone under 50 didn't grow up with him so we can officially stop using the term "peanut gallery." Back to our story.I have come into conflict on several occasions with more than one girlfriend on the limits of privacy. There seem to be roughly two lines of argument, with possible variations on each line. First, there is the argument that more than one girlfriend has made that basically says, "Two people come together, they give up virtually all realistic rights to privacy." Sure, they can have privacy when they need to read or sleep or whatever, but any secrets including bank account numbers, current conversations you're having with friends, computer passwords, email passwords, plans you might be making for the coming week, closed and opened snailmail etc. are all expected to be shared. The sentiment here seems to be that there should be nothing worth hiding from one's partner, and if there is, then something is wrong. This idea is on a continuum.

While my current girlfriend sort of holds this view, she is on a much softer end of the spectrum about it, being a little annoyed at parts of the argument I don't buy into, but not going psycho and trying to hack into my stuff constantly. The other line of argument is more in line with what I think which can be roughly stated: People have a right to moderate levels of privacy, regardless of the relationships they're in for a variety of reasons. While a certain level of privacy is acknowledged to be given up at the beginning of a relationship, with more privacy given up as the relationship continues, there are still, and should always be, if so desired, personal privacies that one can maintain, with the understanding that trust negates any need for worry. In addition, while a deep level of secrecy certainly could point to a problem between the couple, having certain privacies need not be construed as a statement about the richness/trustworthiness of the relationship.

For me, for instance, I don't go over all the conversations I might have in a given day, with my girlfriend because I a) don't see them all as that important and b) I can't remember them all and c) even if I can remember them, I'm not sure they're worth the effort of explaining things in a way that makes sense, which is often much harder than one might realize.There are a myriad of other reasons about a myriad of other things, that I'm not hiding, I just don't want to talk about for whatever reasons. Past that, I do believe there are things that one has a right to deal with in one's own time and, regardless of love and affection, are not necessarllly the purview of the partner. So, I believe that one has a right to keeping one's passwords private, of asking before opening mail, of being squeamish when somebody asks me for my bank card; one has the right to keep one's inner sphere a certain level of private for all eternity. I feel that's a good thing. I do try to understand the other side and it does make sense in some ways, but so does the other side (and obviously moreso for me). Of course, laying out these things early in the relationship and compromising would usually be a lot more helpful, but sometimes that's not as foreseeable or as possible as one would like.

Oh well.With that in mind, I ask you, good public, for your views. What do you think of privacy rights in relationships? What are the limits? Who sets those limits? Is there a public standard we can share on this matter, a rule of thumb if you will? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

5 Signs You May Be Dating a Gold Digger

There are two basic types of Gold Diggers out there; the women who don’t give a crap about you, and the women who give a teensy little bit about you. The first is only interested in herself and what she can acquire. The latter has more or less resigned herself to dating you because she thinks you’re the best she can do at this moment in time; she probably “likes you ok” but she will never love you.
Ideally, you want to avoid these chicks whenever possible. Unfortunately, these women are usually a peg or two above their respective men in terms of looks, so the guys are usually too busy thanking God for their good fortune to notice how frequently Jane needs a new pair of shoes. These 5 signs will tell whether or not she’s into you, or just your money. While there are certainly exceptions to every rule, and most actions are open to interpretation, they do serve as a general rule of thumb.

1. She only knocks boots after you’ve bought something for her.

This is the Gold Diggers way of repaying you. It’s also her way of classically conditioning you: You have to pay before you can play. Depending on your financial status, this may be something as small as dinner in a moderately priced restaurant, or it may mean jewelry is required before she’ll drop her knickers. Either way, she’s your own personal call-girl, whether you realize it or not.

2. She has a temper tantrum if you refuse to buy something for her.

This sounds obvious, but it’s a very common with gold diggers. The tantrum may be subtle – giving you the silent treatment, for example – but it tends to start at the moment of refusal and lasts until your next purchase.

3. She only suggests expensive restaurants, hotels, etc.

If she’s too good for the occasional burger, this girl is a gold digger. Mind you, that’s metaphorical; there are plenty of vegan gold diggers out there, believe it or not. The point is, she never selects a destination that will be kind to your wallet.

4. She earns a very modest income, yet everything she owns is very expensive.

This is less obvious than it sounds. A good gold digger knows how to network, and she knows she needs some kind of job, lest she look like what she is. She’ll probably work part-time somewhere, and supplement her income with your donations. All those shoes, clothes, etc – you better believe she didn’t pay for them herself.

5. She never offers to pay the bill, not even her share.

Now… I have done articles on dates and who should pay; I fully believe a man should pay for the first date. Period. However, I also believe that a woman should always offer to pay for herself from the second date forward. Regardless of whether or not you agree with me, let me assure you that if she’s never offered to pay in any capacity, she’s a gold digger.

So now that I have shared these 5 signs with you, it's time to come to truths. Are you dating a Gold Digger? Or, if you are a lady reading this blog, do you think I have done an injustice to the female race of "Gold Diggers?"

Girlfriend's Invasion of Privacy

It has taken me some time and serious thought on this subject regarding invasion of privacy. When your girlfriend invades your privacy by checking your cellphone call log, or accidentally getting into your voicemail, or accessing your emails, what recourse do you have at that point?

Even if she finds out that you have been talking with other female friends and even flirting with them, she still has invaded your privacy. I have been often told that two wrongs do not make a right.

It would seem to me that damage would have been seriously done to the existing relationship once the girlfriend invades your privacy in such a manner. It puts the relationship in an uncomfortable position. Does the girlfriend owe the boyfriend an apology regardless of what she found, or does the boyfriend owe the girlfriend an apology? Regardless, I have been told that if you don't want to find anything, please do not go looking!

When Should Sex Education Be Taught

Many parents want to know at what age is it appropriate to start teaching their children about sex. What most of us don’t think about is that the question presumes that there is an age at which sexuality becomes important or “an issue”. This presumption is 100% wrong. Sexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are, from birth to death. And while our sexuality isn’t the same when we’re six as when we’re sixteen, or sixty, it is always there and always a part of us. So the question isn’t so much when to start talking with your children about sex, but how to do it at every age and stage of their lives.

Many, possibly most, parents are less than proactive in talking about sex with their children, and don’t deal with it until moments like these:

• Your toddler begins exploring his or her body in public and you’re not sure how to deal with it.
• You wonder at what point it’s “not okay” to let your child see you without clothes on.
  
• Your child asks you where they came from or where other babies come from.
  
• Your child begins to ask questions about their body and why it looks different from their brothers or sisters.
  

Each of these are important teaching moments, and if you want to avoid dealing with situations and questions at awkward or inconvenient times (say, in the middle of a holiday service, at a family dinner, or just as your rushing off to work) you’re best protection is to be proactive, and Take space for sex talks on an ongoing basis.

Teaching your children about sex should begin as soon as you’re communicating with them. If they have questions they’ll let you know. And even if they don’t, you can let them know that you’re open to the questions by including sex education in all the things you teach them.