Tuesday, October 27, 2009

5 Signs You May Be Dating a Gold Digger

There are two basic types of Gold Diggers out there; the women who don’t give a crap about you, and the women who give a teensy little bit about you. The first is only interested in herself and what she can acquire. The latter has more or less resigned herself to dating you because she thinks you’re the best she can do at this moment in time; she probably “likes you ok” but she will never love you.
Ideally, you want to avoid these chicks whenever possible. Unfortunately, these women are usually a peg or two above their respective men in terms of looks, so the guys are usually too busy thanking God for their good fortune to notice how frequently Jane needs a new pair of shoes. These 5 signs will tell whether or not she’s into you, or just your money. While there are certainly exceptions to every rule, and most actions are open to interpretation, they do serve as a general rule of thumb.

1. She only knocks boots after you’ve bought something for her.

This is the Gold Diggers way of repaying you. It’s also her way of classically conditioning you: You have to pay before you can play. Depending on your financial status, this may be something as small as dinner in a moderately priced restaurant, or it may mean jewelry is required before she’ll drop her knickers. Either way, she’s your own personal call-girl, whether you realize it or not.

2. She has a temper tantrum if you refuse to buy something for her.

This sounds obvious, but it’s a very common with gold diggers. The tantrum may be subtle – giving you the silent treatment, for example – but it tends to start at the moment of refusal and lasts until your next purchase.

3. She only suggests expensive restaurants, hotels, etc.

If she’s too good for the occasional burger, this girl is a gold digger. Mind you, that’s metaphorical; there are plenty of vegan gold diggers out there, believe it or not. The point is, she never selects a destination that will be kind to your wallet.

4. She earns a very modest income, yet everything she owns is very expensive.

This is less obvious than it sounds. A good gold digger knows how to network, and she knows she needs some kind of job, lest she look like what she is. She’ll probably work part-time somewhere, and supplement her income with your donations. All those shoes, clothes, etc – you better believe she didn’t pay for them herself.

5. She never offers to pay the bill, not even her share.

Now… I have done articles on dates and who should pay; I fully believe a man should pay for the first date. Period. However, I also believe that a woman should always offer to pay for herself from the second date forward. Regardless of whether or not you agree with me, let me assure you that if she’s never offered to pay in any capacity, she’s a gold digger.

So now that I have shared these 5 signs with you, it's time to come to truths. Are you dating a Gold Digger? Or, if you are a lady reading this blog, do you think I have done an injustice to the female race of "Gold Diggers?"

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Girlfriend's Invasion of Privacy

It has taken me some time and serious thought on this subject regarding invasion of privacy. When your girlfriend invades your privacy by checking your cellphone call log, or accidentally getting into your voicemail, or accessing your emails, what recourse do you have at that point?

Even if she finds out that you have been talking with other female friends and even flirting with them, she still has invaded your privacy. I have been often told that two wrongs do not make a right.

It would seem to me that damage would have been seriously done to the existing relationship once the girlfriend invades your privacy in such a manner. It puts the relationship in an uncomfortable position. Does the girlfriend owe the boyfriend an apology regardless of what she found, or does the boyfriend owe the girlfriend an apology? Regardless, I have been told that if you don't want to find anything, please do not go looking!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

When Should Sex Education Be Taught

Many parents want to know at what age is it appropriate to start teaching their children about sex. What most of us don’t think about is that the question presumes that there is an age at which sexuality becomes important or “an issue”. This presumption is 100% wrong. Sexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are, from birth to death. And while our sexuality isn’t the same when we’re six as when we’re sixteen, or sixty, it is always there and always a part of us. So the question isn’t so much when to start talking with your children about sex, but how to do it at every age and stage of their lives.

Many, possibly most, parents are less than proactive in talking about sex with their children, and don’t deal with it until moments like these:
  • Your toddler begins exploring his or her body in public and you’re not sure how to deal with it.
  • You wonder at what point it’s “not okay” to let your child see you without clothes on.
  • Your child asks you where they came from or where other babies come from.
  • Your child begins to ask questions about their body and why it looks different from their brothers or sisters.

Each of these are important teaching moments, and if you want to avoid dealing with situations and questions at awkward or inconvenient times (say, in the middle of a holiday service, at a family dinner, or just as your rushing off to work) you’re best protection is to be proactive, and Take space for sex talks on an ongoing basis.

Teaching your children about sex should begin as soon as you’re communicating with them. If they have questions they’ll let you know. And even if they don’t, you can let them know that you’re open to the questions by including sex education in all the things you teach them.

Monday, October 12, 2009

I had a lot of fun watching the new Vh-1 show, "Going for Broke," starring comedian Eddie Griffin. Griffin is one of the funniest comics in America, the comedian that Chris Tucker could have been (if he would simply stop disappearing between Jackie Chan movies). On the show, Griffin gives insight into his personal life, which is both intriguing and disturbing.

The show is called "Going for Broke" for a reason, because Eddie just might actually get there.Here are some reasons that Eddie Griffin might actually become the broke celebrity that he is trying to become:

1) He spends like a damn fool. One of the easiest traps for an entertainer to fall into is the "infinite money trap." That's when the person thinks that they've got an endless supply of cash, giving them ability to spend whatever they want on whatever they want. Apparently Eddie may have fallen into this trap, since his Bentley was being repossessed in an early episode of the show. Eddie's conversation with his accountant was also revealing, as the words "all the accounts are empty" seemed to strike him hard. With all the success that Eddie Griffin has had, it is difficult to imagine that he would be completely broke. But the truth is that this kind of thing happens all the time.

2) Can you say "8 kids and 4 baby's mamas"? Eddie's mother was right when she mentioned that any new potential "baby mamas" were looking to "get on the "Eddie Griffin financial plan." What Eddie also seems to forget is that even if you are well to do, child support is a horrible financial burden. There are ways to be involved in the lives of children without giving up all your money in order to do so.

3) He seems to put himself into bad situations. The first episode I saw showed scenes of Eddie going to a plastic surgeon after having a champagne glass smashed against his face by a "fan." I've honestly got a few fans, but I don't think any of them would want to slam a glass against my face. Maybe he should change the word "fan" to "hater," "enemy," or "potential threat." Either way, Eddie seemed to feel that his life was somehow cursed with bad energy. Instead, he might take a second to realize that his personal choices might be the reasons he is being put into such peculiar situations. When it comes to Eddie Griffin and his new show, the bottom line is this: If you think that Eddie is now doing fine because he has a new Vh-1 show, think again. The networks don't pay the entertainers much to do these shows, and the shows don't usually last for a very long time. Also, unless you're Bill Gates, you can't presume that you've got a seemingly endless supply of disposable income.

The fact that Eddie didn't know he was out of money implies that he probably doesn't keep a budget, which is one of the first paths toward financial ruin. Given that one of Eddie's predecessors, Red Foxx, died deeply in debt to the IRS, one would hope that Eddie doesn't endure that same fate. Eddie's my man, funny as hell, but he's really got to get it together.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Abusive Women and Male Victims

It has been said that a man who exhibits the following behaviors in relationship is abusive. It would stand to reason, then, that a woman who exhibits these behaviors is an abusive woman.
Men who get involved with abusive women are typically those who had abusive childhood home environments. This kind of upbringing tends to normalize abusive behavior in all relationships.

What this means is that men from this kind of a background are not as keen to the subtleties of abuse the way “healthy” men are.

On a positive note, there is a silver lining here—all behavior can be relearned, including the ability to recognize early signs of abuse as unacceptable behaviors in a relationship. Once this is learned, a man will be able to break free from unhealthy relationships with women who are not good for him.

You might review this list to see if you might be in an abusive relationship. This is a list of common abusive behaviors to watch for:

Criticism about your good qualities
Past abusive relationships
Criminal activities
Drinking or drug problems, past or present
Mood swings
Discourages your successes
Abusive family members or spouses of siblings
Attempts to control your whereabouts
Disrespect toward your publicly or privately
Violations of others rights
Attempts to keep you isolated
Persistent lying
History of truancy, delinquency and running away
Highly reactive
Streaks of meanness toward others for no reason
Threatened by relationships with other women, past, present or imagined

In order to recognize early abusive signs, a man must stop rationalizing “abusive” behaviors as “normal.” If he sees ONE abusive behavior, regardless of how small, he needs to remind himself that it IS abuse. Period! With this new skill, he will soon be dating women who treat him with dignity and respect—the way all men deserve to be treated.